| ya |
[19 Dec 2004|10:30pm] |
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welll havnt done this ina while, but ya nothin much has happend, am still dating the same girl as of a month ana half ago. but i keep thinking back on mi ex, and mi feeling for her are the same as they have always been for soe reason. Its weird i keepthinking, but i know it will lead me to trouble. But ya im out l8r
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[06 Nov 2004|02:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
duality - slipknot |
] |
"I don't want this anymore"
is all I heard her say
as I grabbed my stuff and headed out the door.
With my music in my phones
and my bike under my feet
things started to look different
as I got out on the street.
Sometimes I see her face
in the new people that I meet
We're not who we thought we were
when we saw this dream
Sometimes when I just can't sleep
I hear the words you said to me:
How did you get so deep inside of me
I wake up and I move on
I admit the past is gone
I wake up and I refine
Moving foward to the next lifetime,
I leave it all behind.
Sometimes when I just can't sleep
I hear the words you said to me:
Sometimes it takes a painful loss
to realize you are free
How did you get so deep inside of me
How did you get so deep inside of me?
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| confused |
[19 Oct 2004|11:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Misfits - Scream |
] |
love you always
stick by ur side through thick and thin
you know me
inform me****
*p.s. new lip ring.. if ur interested i know its a minute detail and stuff... but meh.. thought id throw it in.*
im srry
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| love |
[19 Oct 2004|03:39am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 depressed |
] |
was talking to mi long lost friend.. he was telling me about how a student in his grade shot himself last week.. he said he never really knew the kid...he never had many friends.. no realy friends... His home situation wasnt great.. and well.. his gf just recently broke up with him.. and i guess that was all he had.. so he wrote a note and left it in his room.. phoned his gf up and told her to come meet him.. she came 15 minutes later.. in that time he shot himself in the head.. she read the note.. and it said that he needed someone and i guess he had no one.. I thought it was retarded when he told me this.. now thinking through it... everyone needs to be loved... if your parents arnt there.. and you have no friends that care for you.. and the only person that you needed and thought you loved dumps you.. then you are broken.. and i can see why he did it.. everyone needs to be loved.
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[18 Oct 2004|11:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
i love her.. i need her.. she forgot what she had.. what she could of had.. perfect match.. now i have nothing.. no point. goodbye
*will miss all our times* *will miss you* *i love you, i hope you understand that*
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| and life |
[17 Oct 2004|03:15am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 jealous |
] |
| [ |
music |
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skulls - The Misfits |
] |
well... just i dont know things are hard... Right now everythign in mi life is zoned in on one person.. everyone on here knows who im talking about... but i will leave them nameless.. MY love for her is like no other... whe is who i want to be with... she is who i want my memories to mold aorund... she is who i want my life to be lived for. I think she doesnt want it though... it is confusing she might get mad reading this she might not... she might think im a psycho or obsessed... but im not... its just outspoken love... and the only way i can some waht releive it. I know if it was closer... it WOULD work... but distance seems to be a bitch... I know inside she cares the same for me...but the peoples around her seem to keep her sitracked ro somthing... I know there is no person.. nto one and i know this for sure, that coudl give her what i did. maybe i shoudl fix the two things that i have wrong.. differnt... il get into religion... i will not mix my food...hehe.. then we will ahve everything the same in all ways.... but lifes a bitch isnt it... I will nto give up... maybe il have to go and live in a dumpster there? i would do it too... would make no differnce from what i live in now *HB* hah... never will give up... promices kept... i will never lie to you.. you know i love you... and i come off as an asshole over the fuckign internet...but like i said.. i hate the internet in all ways accept for one reason... i met you.
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| yo |
[12 Oct 2004|11:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
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i miss you - blink 182..... |
] |
welll mi last entry was posa be dated the 11th but i fuct up lol... ya welll.. not sure but im writing an entry... Today at work i got tiped $10 pretty good concidering all the work i do and get fuck all... i cant beleive someone else in this worl is thankfull for someone elses doings and troubles.. so that was pretty cool.. ya well on sunday me and this other dude thats just as crazee as i am are settin up dirt jumps and vid tapin tricks and things on bmx.. if its nice.. FUCKN WEATHER lol.. ya so thatl be fuckn awsome.. And next weekend i think im going and getting mi lip periced :) fun stuff.. ya and umm nothin much to say really kinda bored math test tomarrow i fail haha... and umm.. im thinkin of makn a band... im buying an electric guitar... big dif from mi bass i dead but i want soemthing i can actualy sing to... i was told i would be a sweet punk singer or suntin by an unknown soul.. and ya i dono all thats happenin right now is work lol.. ya prolly mroe to write but il cuter short... done haha..
*i miss you*
to you.
i do this for no one else but you than myself in that order.
-jeremy
i started to listen to i miss you again... before it just made me sad... and burst a single tear.. i can listen to it now.
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| hi |
[05 Oct 2004|11:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Misfits - Scream |
] |
ya well remade mi oldschool dilly... good stuff
www.thedilly.com
the_j_biter
ya well thats it...
ive been led through so many doors finding each leads to an opening to the world... thinking they are fine i just watch from a far.... later wondering thinking.. i step inside and walk to the opening... i know that what i have is good... but maybe i want to see more deeply into it... i walk forward towards the outer world... it is a painting... not another world at all.... i try every door.... they are all the same.... many doors to go.... maybe one day il find the outer world and the realism.... hopefully there is one... otherwise im stuck for all eternity blocked out... and never again seen as the person i am.
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| crazy fucking story |
[03 Oct 2004|10:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 drained |
] |
k well.. this was fuct... me and pelt were cruzn roudn hudson bay and were fuckign bored cuz no one is here, everyone was playin football outa town. So were like fuckit were going to preecville for a party. So we drove down there... and mi car was makn funny noises as soon as we got the party which was about 40 mins outa preecville... anyways were at this party... and fuck... preecville ppl are fucked in the head... they are like mentally retarded and weird.... so we never talked to anyone and were having a shitty time.... all we did was sit there and tak to matt gusfison or somthing from porcupine.... he was there too ... dono why he knew no one as well... so we talked for a bit then it was so gay we left... and on our way back... car was fuckign up.... we drove it stalled.... got it goin and spuddered at this time we were nto to far away from the party like 20 mins but it was so fuckign cold and windy about -5 and fuicking cold... so we kept going.. then finally my fuel pump quit totally.... and well... we were stranded int he middle of fuckign no where... cold as hell... nothing but a jacket and a dead car... we got out to walk but we woulda like fucking died b4 we got anywhere.... so we went in the car... i was posa be back at 2:00 by this time it was 1:45.... so we tried to get car going but it wouldnt... i went to phone on mi cell... but mi minutes ran out and signal was lost... so we were totally fuct... so we decided to sleepp... it was fuckign harsh and so fuckign cold.. i had a jacket and a hoody... and we slept in the seats... by morning 8:00 or so we were up obviously had about 30 mins of sleep total... and were both frozen to the point where we coudlnt move... then a person drove by stoped by ous and took us to their house... gave us coffeee and warmed us up... then drove us tp preeecville about 30 mins away./... we went had coffee and some food... still frozen... and then i phoned mi parents they were so freaked they didnt know wher ei was or anything... but mi grandpa came and got us... and we got home about 9:00 sunday night... crazee shit.. i ended up with nimonia... (dono how to spell that) it was the fuckn worst weekend of mi life.. i hate preecville... there a bunch of weird hillbillies... AHHHH
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| broked |
[28 Sep 2004|11:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crushed |
] |
well... my last entry was i guess... not the liking of someone..
I fuct up..
i feel so lost... everything i worked towards.. or did anything for now... is pretty much gone... Making a couple mistakes can fuck someone so bad... I was told that if i cheated on her that she would even forgive me... i never did such a thing nor would i... I made a couple bad choices... wich really amounted to anything or did nothing.. But i guess thats worse than cheating of someone... And its the end.. Who i loved.. is there... I see her... but she cant see me... im invisible to her eyes.. Im the same.. she knows me.. But yet she fails to actualy see ME.. But just what is said. Judges the person by what is said... not the situation... or what has/or will happen. DOesnt achnoledge who the person really is. but yet believes the first thought that comes to her. I dono where i went wrong exactly... Or how bad of a boyfriend i really am. I tried as hard as i possibly could... which wasnt good enough... was told so many promices.. yet all but a couple still remain.. for the time being.. Sad, hurt... posibly angry. who really know anymore. 4 1/2 months... broken so easy over nothing... for who? the self.. or the somebody... or the nobody.. But what really remains... is the nothing... and i guess that is all that matters at the moment.
fuck you mom
fuck you dad
fuck you.... me
die all of you.
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| great fun |
[26 Sep 2004|10:20pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sore |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Bringer Of Blood - My Hatred |
] |
Pulled my back at work.. lifting shit thats gay lol.
And well i was driving mi car like a psycho again and the front tire blew and i almost fliped it.. and i had some great fun tonight
i got into a street brawl against 15 or so natives me against them cuz they didnt like me they were all like 16-18 years old... soo ya that was a deuce and a half.
confusion
not knowing
scared
hurt
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| supo chpegis |
[21 Sep 2004|01:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
mellow |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
green Day ... Nimrod... over and over. |
] |
well i dono sitn here, i doubt anyone really reads this i never get comments though i dont have many ppl on mi friends so lol ... meh im talking to myself.
well i tore apart my dirtbike and painted mi plastics with plastic paint so its be awsome
front fender=black
back fender=black
rad covers/fins=black
gas tank=red
frame=red
plates under seat that connect to number plate=red
so it should look pretty sweet, its in the drying process and well i gotta do a few more coats.
il get pictures up when im done for anyone on who cares *looks around* meh
but im sitn here and talking to no one on msn cuz they are gay lol
so il get back to more sitn and thinking like i always do.
o and its prett sweet... lately girls think that ive broken up with mi gf so they are hitn on me and shit but... (thats not the sweet part) but its funny cuz they come upto me and stuff and then i mention that i have a gf and they just turn and walk away lol its fuct... there is not one fucking girl that just wants to be friends all they want is a fucking guy its so stupid... fuck they are retarded. meh but im good lol if they get to close i say hay... um why dont you go find someone else that wants your disese and than smile... they get the point lol... i dont really knwo why im writing this but meh.
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| yo |
[19 Sep 2004|01:10am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 exhausted |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
alive- godsmack |
] |
well
lotsa problems
cops r gay
im missinng her
but things are ok
>everythings for you
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| A poam i guess? |
[09 Sep 2004|08:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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depressed |
] |
i was told once by a girl that i should write a poam for her... well i could not do it before but i guess this is somewhat of a poam im not sure but i tried.
sitting here
thinking of you
all our times we had
through and through
now your gone
im a mess
all my friends
leaving me in distress
i sit up
i cannot sleep
i cannot eat
i know your there
but through a faded glass
all I see
is a memory
I need some help
some love
some hope
just a little reasurance
I try so hard
but what for
it seems like
im trying to convince a brick wall
but
I will wait
harsh times will come
what can i say
harsh time are here
And i dont know where i am from
anymore
Lost at love
*muah kori*
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| ya |
[09 Sep 2004|08:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
well i guess i dont have much to do but write in these useless fuckign things yup... well im depressed officialy and i cant help it what so ever... i hate every fucking person in this god forsaken town they could all die and it really wouldnt faze me a bit... i wish i was somewhere else where i could be accepted or even noticed... i fucking hate this.. the only person that actualy likes me is gone.. and ya well school hates me and i hate it mi marks are goin to fuck... but i really have no ambition and dont care for some reason... at this point there is nothing to look forward to... well not that i know of.. meh watever fuck all you people that dont understand... no one reads this any way so it shouldnt matter... im just writing to a fucking brick wall again... meh fuckit
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| meh |
[07 Sep 2004|05:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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cereal -NOFX |
] |
well bored nothing else to do sittin round cripled up haha.
well to clerify i guess mi foot was not broken but it was dislocated till this morning ahha.. meh stil hurts like hell its cracked but no cast.
ya well i still have mono from over 3 months ago and yup me and koris 4 month in a few days :D
yep well i guess il sit here some more
*miss you... Love you*
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| o? |
[03 Sep 2004|10:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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annoyed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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darby;s breathing |
] |
well im sitting here in my gf's house with no gf :( very boing. i sat in the room where we usto have lotsa good times by myself. I was told to phone her at 10:00 i tried for 45 minutes and got some other girl.. and not kori... well i guess that pissed off just because i was told 10:00 to phone... so i cant sleep and am sitting here by myself wen i have to leave at 3:30 in the morn tomarrow. Not in the best mood but meh.
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| sad |
[01 Sep 2004|11:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
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silence |
] |
well i wrote a big logn thing and broser closed fuckn gay thing... well it basically said i havnt wrote in a long time and that kori is gone now. I am sad depressed and angry.
I will lock myself up in mi room for a whole year.
do nothign but wait
hoping and wishing she will come back for grade 12
and i know your reading this kori and i want you to knwo that i love you so much and that i miss you 24 7 and i am think about you always....
plz comment
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mastrachukj's journal
cold
amused
